Get it get it get it... awww....
Yeah, what a waste that was. I was excited to just have a job, and I drank the sales pitch kool aid.
I did a few presentations and realized how the job sounds so good on paper, that it has potential when you are sitting in a room with a carefully designed power point presentation and a complimentary boss. Then you actually try to make the slam dunk that you were assured you can achieve... and you fall flat on your face.
So I handed in my kit and said enough of that nonsense. I found another opportunity with Building Blocks Learning Center, working with children. At first, I wasn't really sure what my job actually was. But in a way, I was open to let my job be my own. I got to know the kids. I came up with some fun activities for them. I had a classroom of my own. Then they took it away, renaming my title as "support staff." This was a blessing and a curse. In one way, I got to be the most versatile member, helping out in every room and getting to know each child in the whole center, every age group. I learned a ton of things about children and childhood development. In another way, I didn't have any sense of purpose or direction. I was just a place holder. I didn't have a classroom, a set schedule, or anything that was mine. I felt like I had no authority among staff, and the older kids started to feed off of that energy, questioning my authority as well. Because I was such a catch all employee, I ended up working long shifts, often from 630 AM to 6 pm, or with overly crowded classrooms of screaming children trying to restore order. I was exhausted every day.
Why won't the kids beg for naps too?
Then another blessing in disguise came around. My friend on the staff, who was hired just after I was and had taken over the infant room, fell ill. She was told by her doctor to refrain from bending and lifting, something that is required for a room full of squirmy crawly infants. I took over for her. I fell in love. I loved my infants. I loved having a room of my own. I loved being in control and setting the schedule for the room. I felt like I found where I belong. However, I was still "support staff" and was quickly replaced by another new hire. Between that and the little pay, I looked for something that had more room for growth and raises.
Make it RAIIIINNNN. If only the babies threw money at me.
I moved on to SallieMae. The first few months were fine. Training was actually a lot of fun, making friends, a set 9-5 schedule, and I'm a fast learner and did well. Then I was put on the call floor, and the realities of call center life came creeping up on me. Crappy night shift hours, being literally tethered to your desk with no freedom to talk to a friend or even get up to pee, and the endless calls with no down time at all. Every single second of my life was measured. If calls took too long, I'd get dinged. If I took to long to do work, I'd get dinged. Personally, I'm all about helping the person on my other end. Each phone call was its own world to me, trying to help that customer as best as possible before moving on. But no, a call center is all about times. Time on the phone, time working, time off work, everything measured and hyper controlled. I hated it. I was making good money, but I hated every moment of my existence in that place.
So much suppressed rage.
Unemployed for a little while, I was actually contacted by a temp agency, I guess they found my resume online, and now I work in an office, basically being the office lackey, doing the busy work other people don't want to deal with. I actually really like it in some ways. I'm left to my own devices, so I can work on my own terms on my own schedule, but still have plenty of variety of tasks to accomplish. But, it's just a temp job for very little money. I have to figure out what to do once my contract is over.
That brings me to my point. I don't really know what I want job wise. I've been in and out of different jobs, learning what I do and don't like in a job. My mother is on my case about making a career choice, not to bop around job to job. She's right, I can't really live off of minimum or slightly higher wage, I need a real career, something I can rely on. But, what do I want to do? I know what I want in an environment based on the jobs I've had, but what do I actually want to do at that job? I'm not really sure. In the mean time, I really don't see a problem trying out different waters. Everyone needs to try different things to find what makes them happy. In many ways, I kind of look forward to learning lots of new things. The only problem is, everyone wants experience. I don't have a lot of experience in one thing, I have a little experience in a lot of things. But I still have hope. I'll find what I want to do job wise. I'll just enjoy my time in my current job, apply for anything that seems interesting.
I'll try out whatever I think I'd like. I'll try the red and the blue. See if I can find a shade of purple that suits me.
Not what I meant, but sure.
